What is it about quiet guys that girls find attractive? Is it because in a quiet way they seem to have a hidden strength? I confess in college my wife liked me in part because I was quiet. Quietness left room for mystery. In reality, I was just shy, but hey, it worked in my favor. Quietness is often paired with confidence, an inward appearance of assurance and poise. It infers an inward strength. It may be assumed because in real life it is often true. We find attractive the person who is strong and needs not to be loud about it. In times of difficulty and distress there is a calm demeanor. He or she has a peace that others notice. God says through the prophet Isaiah, “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15) The Apostle Peter says in the hidden person of the heart there is “an incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:4).
I find that quiet people are often more approachable. Perhaps they appear to be good listeners. They have the potential of a quiet ministry that Dietrich Bonhoeffer called the ministry of biting the tongue. They are not proclaimers. They have no soapbox issues to announce. They are reflective and slow to speak. I remember often seeing effectiveness of the chairman of the Dept. of Psychology at Arizona State University in meetings of a community agency board of directors. He was quiet, pensive, and not saying much the whole meeting. But, often toward the end of the meetings he would speak up to quietly offer just the right wisdom to untie the Gordian knot problem with which the board had been wrestling. His stock on the board was high. He quietly achieved high respect and the confidence of others.
There is much in the Bible to support the idea of quietness and confidence. God says to Joshua “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. . . Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:5,6&9) The ApostlePaul, after encouraging the Ephesians to do the will of God from the heart as to the Lord and not to men, then says, “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might.” (Eph. 6:10) Jesus in giving his disciples his Great Commission says, “All authority has been given me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples . . . and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20)
As I get older, it is easier to relax, enjoy the meditating benefits of quietness and reflect on the truth that God’s promises are real and reliable. He is absolutely faithful. His grace in the past and the present occasions confidence and faith in the future. To paraphrase Paul’s words to the Philippians (4:6&7), we need not be anxious for nothing, but in everything by quiet prayer and confidence, and with supplication and thanksgiving, we may let our requests be made quietly known to God; and the gentle peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will give us confidence in Him and guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Thanks be to God!
In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. (Isaiah 30:15)